“Reasonable” Transphobia
As someone who identifies as a cisgendered woman, I understand what it is like to fear the unknown, and within the unknown comes the behaviour of men. Walking home from a friends’ at night in the city even if it’s only 5 minutes away is terrifying. I’ve been followed from work, I’ve been physically assaulted, I’ve been yelled at, and I’ve even been groped. I’m also aware of how manipulative other women can be. I’ve been gaslit, insulted, had entire friend groups turn on me, and abused by and abused for said woman. I understand the cruel cunning some women like to administer on people, and I’ve seen male friends and male relatives be domestically abused in the same way that is typically known to be done by men.
Though I am more careful around men (simply because of how frequent my negative experience with them have been), women are not exempt from being awful human beings.
My Covid uni experience led me directly into a Discord server full of accepting, loving people of all genders. I’ve never had drama with them, and there has never been drama within the group. Everyone has been welcoming and supportive of everyone for every reason: mental health, life, gender identity, sexuality- whatever trouble you’re having, they’re there to help. I’ve never felt included before in my life.
I attend the University of Plymouth, within a city my partner and I like to refer to as the “catfish city” due to its small picturesque areas surrounded in horrible grey concrete, homeless people gone ignored, drug addiction, alcoholism, thugs, litter, football hooligans and endless bird excrement. The university itself, however, is a nice little breath of oxygen for students of all different types. It’s a safe area constantly monitored by campus security, 24/hr access to all nearly buildings if a haven is needed. There’s even gender neutral toilets in a few buildings which has been incredible.
Well, you’d think that, right?
I like to explore the mess that is the Plymouth Live website. It hardly talks about upcoming events in the city, and mostly focuses on crime, Navy and traffic incidents. Occasionally, though, you’ll find an article like this:
To cut it short, someone (and apparently a few others) was upset at some posters that were put up essentially telling people mind your business in the toilets when it comes to gender. Not a hard thing to do, since most are in and out of the toilets as fast as they can. Being in an any-gender friend group it’s easy to forget that some people aren’t as loving and open, and this article shows that in the place I once saw as a safe haven has people who disagree with the existence of my friends.
What the apparent issue is regards the fact women feel unsafe in toilets if a trans woman who doesn’t “pass” is in there with them. Firstly, it’s no one’s decision to make whether someone “passes” as a gender or not. Secondly, this is a fear stemmed from the fact men will go through lengths to take advantage of women- so it has nothing to do with the fact a trans woman is in their toilet, it’s because they fear a man is dressed like a woman to spy on them. They are worried that a man is going to try and deceive them. When has this happened though? Studies (https://www.emerald.com/insight/content/doi/10.1108/JCRPP-03-2020-0031/full/html) show how that there isn’t a direct link between being transgender and criminality. Someone who was born a man identifying as a woman statistically is not going to commit a crime because they’re trans. And people just don’t become trans to assault others. While yes, it is entirely possible for a trans person to commit a crime, but the risk is the same, if not lower, as it is for cis people. I don’t think cis people should be worried about trans people assaulting them though, since they’re the ones assaulting trans people: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-48756370
And what about nonbinary/ genderfluid people? If you visually cannot tell what someone’s genitals are, why does it matter what toilet they use? It baffles me how some people are so upset about what is in someone’s underwear. Imagine looking at someone, and thinking “Hmmm they look like a man, they dress like a man, but are they a man? Have they got the genitals to use my bathroom? Maybe I should ask them.”
This “polite” “reasonable” fear of a trans/nonbinary person using your toilet is just a mask for blatant transphobia. Starting any sentence with “I support [blank] but-” is counterintuitive and makes any argument go in on itself, because the truth is, you are [blank]. You’re just scared of the social repercussion and that isn’t a bad thing. If you’re secretly a POS, then why not express that so everyone knows what you really are?
As a cis woman, I frankly do not care what toilets someone wants to use. Wetherspoons after 10pm becomes a toilet user’s free for all anyway, but as soon as the word “trans inclusive” is thrown into the mix it becomes a safety problem? What are you really scared of? That we might have to actually accept trans people are people?
